The wallflower

We are literally just one person. We have friends, we have family, we have children. But is there ever really a ‘we’ to begin with? It’s nice to have people looking out for you, but nobody can really get inside your mind and feel exactly how you feel at that exact moment you feel it. It’s scary how lonely life can be sometimes, even when surrounding yourself with loved ones. We’re made to feel like our lives should always be moving forward. That we need to be taking direction. That we need to be strong. Confident. Friendly. In less conventional ways, we are told how to live our lives before we even get a chance to imagine it the way we desire.

We’re told to work. We’re told to go to school. We’re told to buy a house. To get a mortgage. To excel at our job. Sometimes I feel like those ‘rules’ of life are what brings us down. Why live a life doing what you’ve been told to do? Why can’t we break away from conventional modern life and do what our heart desires? To do what makes us happy. Maybe I just want to write. Maybe I just want to take photos. Maybe I want to travel and maybe money doesn’t matter to me. Maybe. I mean – who knows? It’s hard to dig beneath every layer, every thought, every moment and dig right down to the bones – it’s hard to find exactly what it is that makes life yours.

I remember in my old work place having a group discussion with my manager and a few of my colleagues. I’ll always remember the line my manager said “.. yeah, because nobody really wants a wallflower do they?”. It really stuck with me. Why doesn’t anyone want a wallflower? Some people are born shy. Some people can’t speak as loud as others and some people aren’t great at standing above the crowd. But that doesn’t mean that they are weak. It doesn’t mean they don’t have anything to say. It means they deem their thoughts worthy and gentle enough to stay put. Daisy is loud. She’s unruly and quite simply crazy. I love it and I love her for just being her. No matter what she grows up into – I’m going to be proud. As long as she is happy.

 Writing, for me, is what brings me above the crowd. I can share my words exactly how they sound in my head. I have time to process them. I have time to just sit down and think. Everything that comes after that is pure honesty. It might not make any sense at all – but it’s literally raw thoughts from my mind. Things I may say to someone someday if ever I could. But sometimes I can’t find the words and so I write them instead. I’m not sure that makes me weak though.
With the rise of social media, it’s hard to see someone for who they are. How authentic is Instagram? How authentic is Youtube?  Blogs? Facebook? Can we really believe a word of it all? Are we all merging into one? Wanting more followers, more likes, more engagement. Are we putting on fronts because we want our Instagram to look pretty enough? To gain followers. To be popular. To be heard and to be ‘unique’. But it’s just not seeming unique anymore. It’s boring. I see the same thing, the same posts, the same pose in the same place. It’s all so .. same-ish. I’m tired. Instead of trying to be cool, trying to be something that maybe you’re not, why not just dig a little deeper.. let go of some layers and be what you feel?

10 Comments

  • www.dogdaysanddelights.wordpress.com says:

    This post resonates with me. I’ve met people in the workplace who think I’m less capable because I’m not as loud as some of my colleagues. There’s a huge difference between talking a good game and actually being good at something.

    Doing what people expect of you is one of the reasons why I stopped blogging for a year. I was writing what I thought people wanted to read rather than what I wanted to write and I became bored with it. When I returned to blogging, I ensured that I only wrote about things that interest me. At the end of the day, I blog because I enjoy writing. I’m not trying to make money from it or win awards. #PostsFromTheHeart

  • http://ablondeandababy.com/blog/me-time/ says:

    Love the honesty in this post. I’ve just come back after a break from blogging because I felt a bit fed up of the glossiness of social media and the sort of falseness of it all. I’m hoping now I’m back I can find my place where I can be genuine and honest in my posts, not always glossy but more truthful and real. #postsfromtheheart

  • www.josephamazingspectrumcoat.com says:

    Loved this. Five years ago when I stopped trying to be supermum and admitted I wasn’t perfect was my turning point. I often have conversations at work about women not being allowed to climb the ladder. What if we don’t want to climb the ladder and happy on the middle rung? That’s what makes the world turn, we all need do’ers! #PostsFromTheHeart

  • Kerry Fender says:

    Yes! This! I am constantly chafing against the assumption that there is only one valid, correct way to live, think, be. I’ve always been a little fish swimming against the tide. Now, in midlife, I’ve given up trying to swim the ‘right’ way, and have decided to see what happens when I go my own sweet way. My instagram account is ‘refreshingly’ crap.

  • Sadie | Be Your Own Example says:

    I think social media has created a very generic ideal, the new “cool kids.” It’s such a shame, because back in the day the internet was the place people like me (shy, not very cool) could be ourselves and express our thoughts as we needed to, subcultures were everywhere. I wish it was still like that. But I think a change is happening, I think people are already getting bored and wanting to see past the flawless Instagrams and glossy lifestyles. Maybe the wallflowers will have their day!
    #postsfromtheheart

  • www.mummy2twindividuals.com says:

    It is so easy to follow the standard path and I don’t think others like it when we try and deviate. We should persue whatever makes us happy #postsfromtheheart

  • Mummy Times Two says:

    I love, love, love everything about the post. Being who we are, who we truly are and allowing it to show is what’s important. For me that is what blogging is really about, a chance to be me – away from work, children and the Other Half, not a teacher, a mother or a partner just me as me.

  • Katy (What Katy Said) says:

    Really enjoyed this Jodie. You are SO right. For the longest time I tried to be ‘cool’ but I’m totally not haha. I don’t live in a stylish designer home. I am not stick thin with an amazing dress sense. To be honest, I am a bit of a weirdo haha. I think YouTube has actually helped me to become comfortable with being me, by sharing the absolute dump of a house I live in, people have warmed to me and it has made me see that being me is more than ok. It is hard to break free or the trend but I just don’t want to be ‘trendy’ anymore. Thank you so much for joining in #HappyDaysLinky, you really got me thinking xx

  • Hannah | The Simple Things says:

    Beautiful, thoughtful post. I think with the rise of social media everything has become more visual, but places like Instagram are just snapshots, and it’s never a full picture of someone’s life. Everyone is different and we all find happiness in different ways, but it’s hard to defy culture and choose what makes you happy! I’d say definitely write, you have a lovely way with words.

  • Http://littleladiesbigworld.co.uk says:

    I’m a definite shy person or socially shy anyway and I’ve learnt to accept that in me and my eldest and my littlest is crazy confident for now, but we need to stand out and just be us no matter what that looks like. #theordinarymoments

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